four!

Today is mine and Dustin’s 4 year wedding anniversary!

It’s hard to believe I adore him more now than I did four years ago, but he has grown to be so much more handsome, loving, and above reproach. Watching him be a Daddy to our little boy melts my heart day after day. It takes a lot to get that “sensitive” side out of Dustin, but Jonah’s smile gets it every time. I’m so looking forward to seeing him lock eyes with our baby girl for the first time in a few short months!

In four years, we’ve lived in 4 (and 5) different zip codes. (I have to say “and 5″ because of the couple of months that I worked in DC while Dus was still in WA.) Which means that many different houses. We’ve had 7 different vehicles (that’s crazy). We’ve been as far south as Mexico, as far west as Seattle, and as far north as White Plains. Sad to say that in four years of marriage, Dustin has not made one trip out to see my family in Houston. He needs a talking to about that!

We lost our puppy Sebastian to a tragic car accident on our 1 year anniversary. We’ve seen our two favorite comedians live– Conan O’Brien and Jerry Seinfeld. Created life twice! Tried to create life… just kidding. I won’t tell you how often! hahahaha. We’ve had a lot to celebrate– new jobs, becoming parents, Dustin’s ordination, my college graduation (not in that order!). And we’ve had some sadness– the loss of jobs and the loss of family and friends.

If feels like we’ve been married forever. I can’t even remember what it was like before. We are absolute best friends and have been for going on 9 years! I am so lucky to have such a considerate husband, even if I have had to learn that he shows his thoughtfulness in very different ways than those romantic comedies. My husband puts me before himself… almost 100% of the time. ;) He is a doll and I am looking forward to each year ahead.

I love to just touch him. Just to sit beside him and feel him there. His warmth is my comfort and when I feel him near, my heart is at rest. He knows how to calm me down with just a look. He pushes me to continuously improve my character. I know God made him just for me. And I’m so thankful Dustin obediently loves me solely and faithfully.

I pray that with each moment, we grow exponentially toward God and toward each other. I pray that we never cease to encourage each other and to avidly support each other’s passions. And I pray that we always enjoy each other’s company as much as we do now– because we really can’t get enough!

preparing for the future

After Jonah was born, I thought a lot about his future wife and things I’d like to pass along to her. I initially planned to give her my Bible on their wedding day with all my notes and thoughts inside from the heart of a wife and mother. But now that we are expecting our own little girl in August, I intend to pass that along to my Eve.

My Bible is, and always has been!, in the New International Version. I am VERY attached to the NIV. I’m pretty sure every Bible I’ve ever had since late elementary school was an NIV, 1984 edition. But as some of you know, the NIV got updated to a new edition in 2011. This edition is bad news for conservative Christians. The most appalling change to the new version is how it addresses gender. The 2011 NIV calls us to “fish for people” instead of to “be fishers of men.” This same practice of removing the male pronoun or article occurs hundreds of times in this new translation.

These may seem like small, insignificant changes to you, but this is huge. Each little change is just one step closer to where Satan ultimately wants us. Just look in your own congregation. Think about how much of a struggle it has been to get young women to understand the concept of submission after the world has taught them for decades that they are their own boss. Think about the marriages of today that are suffering because of the feminist movement. This new version is just going to encourage that.

When I first read pieces of the 2011 NIV, I was very upset about it. But I didn’t think it would affect me because I’m smart enough to keep my 1984 edition. As Mother’s Day drew near this year and I started thinking about the legacy I was leaving behind for my children, God convicted me of my continued support of the NIV. If I seek to open my Bible with my children (which I do), and as I’m sharing with them God’s word they are learning to understand and enjoy the NIV, what’s going to happen when I go out and purchase one for them? What if in 10 years I can’t find any new 1984 editions? I can’t take the risk of raising my babies on this version.

With that said, I’ve had to make the very hard choice to switch translations. This decision HURTS. All of the verses I have memorized in the NIV. I grew up with my NIV. I really really like the wording. So, I’ve been thinking a lot about which translation I’m going to switch to. I’d like to stick with a similar translation, another one that uses “thought by thought” translation instead of “word by word.” I narrowed it down to a couple of versions and then looked up a handful of my favorite verses in each translation to see the difference. I’ve decided to go with the New American Standard Bible.

Dustin and I sat down and discussed this and I’ve asked him to give me my new Bible as a gift the day Eve is born. We’re looking at just about 12 more weeks until she arrives! I still have 14 books of the Bible I’ve not read yet so I’m hoping to finish reading those 14 books in the next 12 weeks so that I can have read the entire Bible in the NIV translation. And then I’ll start again with my NASB.

As I sat down to write, I starting googling the 2011 NIV and read many articles from other Southern Baptists and/or conservatives who feel the same way. These groups are boycotting the NIV. I think it’s really something to think about. How far is too far and where do we draw the line? As much as I support the NIV of the past, I cannot and will not support it’s present. For the sake of my children, and their futures.

scapcc and the resolution

I just got home from a 2 day conference with the South Carolina Association of Pregnancy Care Centers. What an exhausting couple of days, physically and mentally… but worth every ounce of energy poured into it! I’ve got tons of things I want to blog about. I’ve had some serious writer’s block lately… having sat down several times the past few weeks to write. I just keep deleting it all because it’s pointless garbage. But alas! I’ve got stuff to tell you!

Real quick I want to tell you what a blessing it was to meet all the other Directors from around the state. There are 24 (I believe) Pregnancy Care Centers in the state of South Carolina. The women that run these facilities across our state are phenomenal women with huge hearts and an unwavering passion for the unborn. I am so excited to join this group of women and to grow in my faith and in my position as Center Director as these women have set the example.

Our 2 day conference started out with a trip to the South Carolina State House where we sat in on the Senate session. The SC Senate issued a Resolution honoring and thanking the Pregnancy Care Centers of South Carolina. We were all amazed at how God orchestrated that session. When the session began, the men were talking amongst themselves and not paying attention to anything. It was so loud that we could barely hear anything the Clerk was reading. They started off recognizing another organization from the state with a similar Resolution. Then they read through all the Bills that were on the desk and made their decision of what to do with them. And then, somehow… they got into a 10-15 minute discussion about the House v. Senate annual softball game that had taken place the night before. It was one of the strangest things I’d ever seen. Men standing and waiting to be recognized by the President. They went through all the correct procedure before speaking, just to say silly little comments about their own plays in the game or something they observed during the game. And still, all the other men were just carrying on their own private conversations.

And then Senator Larry Grooms had his turn to speak. He approached the podium with his Bible in hand and began by reading Psalm 139.

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand —
    when I awake, I am still with you.

As soon as God’s word was spoken, the Senate silenced. Senator Grooms began to read the Resolution about Pregnancy Care Centers and we were asked to stand. As our group of 25ish women stood up banded together in the balcony, the Senators stopped and looked at us. They took notice of our presence and of our passion. It was amazing to get recognized by the State. That would not happen in a lot of states!

We gave each Senator and Representative a long-stemmed red rose symbolizing life, and a Precious Feet pin. These pins are of two little baby feet and are actual size and shape of a baby’s in utero at 10 weeks after conception. It was a great time.

South Carolina aborts 7,000 babies per year. While the Resolution is appreciated and enjoyed, we know that these congressmen have more work to do! And certainly, so do we!

the butterfly effect

Dustin read this great piece in a book last night and shared it with me. This one was so good, it has to be shared. And expanded upon!

This thought comes from the book “Forgotten God.”

Did you ever wonder what caterpillars think about themselves? They are born… they spend a week eating lots of food… they lay down for a nap…. and then they wake up one day with the ability to fly! No longer are they slithering around. They’re soaring!

Have you ever had a hard time distinguishing between a caterpillar and a butterfly? Probably not, I’m thinking. Because we can completely tell the difference between someone who is dragging along and someone who is flying.

So how is it then, that we walk through life slithering by and one day receive the fullness and power of the Holy Spirit and we still look like a caterpillar! The transformation should be just as significant and life-changing as the caterpillar’s. When we receive the Holy Spirit, we are different. We have abilities that never crossed our minds before. We are made completely new.

I want the world to know I am a butterfly! I want to fly on the wings of the Holy Spirit and show the caterpillars their potential beauty in Christ. I want to see a generation of Christians who commit to CHANGING their old way of life for a greater life in Christ. Caterpillars and butterflies don’t get around the same way. Caterpillars hang out with caterpillars, and butterflies hang out with butterflies. They eat different things. They see different things (the view from the air is so much better!).

Romans 12:2 – Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is– his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

I hope that I live my life intentionally. That is my goal, daily. I want to make choices and decisions that seem odd or out-of-place for the sole purpose of pointing out who God is and who I am because of Him. I want everything I do to stink of Jesus (For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. 2 Corinthians 2:15). I want to fly like a butterfly. I want to stand on a flower (going to try this later).

The main difference between Christians walking filled with the Holy Spirit and butterflies is this — Someone can rub our wings all they want, but our wings will not be destroyed!

So how about it, Christian caterpillars. Are y’all ready to accept the wings you’ve been given and learn to be a butterfly?

Isaiah 40:31 - But those who hope in the Lord will renew heir strength.  They will soar on wings like [butterflies]; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.

the hindsight of life

As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20. I’ve found this especially true in my walk with Christ. I remember going through periods of life confused and so desperate to get to the next phase. Now, looking back– I see God was at work in my life to prepare me to be in His exact place, in His exact time.

Do you ever have those moments where something happens to you that you never saw coming and you say, “God, why?” I’m here to tell you to embrace those times. Sure, it’s ok to ask God and hope He’ll loudly proclaim His purpose to you from above… but don’t get your hopes up! His plan might not be ready to be revealed. But you can be certain that if He has a specific goal for you, He will do everything possible (which to Him, is everything!) to shape you in to being the perfect version of you for when He reveals His plan.

Case in point. (And I’m going to try to run through this first part quickly and as un-boastful as possible!)

I’m somewhat brainy. Maybe slightly obsessive about being the smartest at everything I do. That attribute has always been highly prevalent in my life and readily appraised by my peers and teachers. Going through high school, I was sure to be the one who got all the scholarships and did exactly what she had always planned. College didn’t slow me down. I picked up the pace in college taking extra courses, finishing a year early and still maintaining an almost 4.0 GPA. Everyone always knew I was going to be successful, and probably pretty well-off financially. Based on the statistics of my academic career, I was pretty certain that would happen, too.

College graduation came and I had 5 interviews in Manhattan, NY. Dustin and I had always dreamed of living there. So off we flew to Manhattan for my interviews. Dustin’s company had already said they would be willing to transfer him to the NY office. But then at the last-minute, they changed their minds. All of a sudden, Dustin had to move to WA or he didn’t have a job. New York no longer had a future with us. I was so disappointed that our dream of living the big city life wasn’t going to happen and I wondered why God sent us out into the desert of Washington.

After 10 months of desert life, I was beyond over it. Dustin’s job was so wishy-washy about our length of stay and we just wanted to get out of there. We desperately longed for a place we could put roots down, and that job in WA offered no promise of permanency. So I sent my brainy-kid resume all over the US and landed myself a job in Washington, DC. Yes!! The city life was coming to us! Dustin didn’t have a job yet, but we agreed I would move there and begin work while he looked for work. Five days before my plane took off to move me 3000 miles away, we found out we were pregnant. A beautiful surprise, but one that didn’t quite fit our plans to live 3000 miles apart until Dustin found a job… especially not in this economy!

So we resolved to make that job temporary and move back home to Aiken where our family was. Moving back home had been our dream for almost a year at that point. And God was finally bringing us back to SC. By the time my job in DC ended, Dustin’s job in WA was over and we moved home together. And the following Monday, Dustin was laid off.

This period of our lives was filled with a lot of “why’s?” but we were so thrilled to be home and so excited about becoming parents, we got over it quickly. Dustin hooked him a part-time job at Wal-Mart which he holds to this day (except he got a promotion and went full-time a couple of months ago). I refrained from working until after Jonah was born.

Jonah was born about 5 weeks early. But perfectly healthy (praise God!). Had he not been born when he was, I wouldn’t have got the job I did. Five and a half weeks after Jonah made his appearance, I went to work at my alma mater. As I look over that period of my life and reflect on the purpose, I am confident that my son was born 5 weeks early so I could get that job and be an integral part in leading my friend to Christ. His life is greatly changed since then and I know God put us in each other’s path for that reason.

I got to a point of complacency in my job there, even after ignoring the call to ministry. It was then that my job was terminated. Randomly and without reason. I was so disappointed. So hurt. But God sent me on a whirlwind of emotions that led me to accept His call to ministry.

God blessed me with a job to pay the bills while I waited for His ministry plans to be revealed to me. But I woke up every day knowing it wasn’t my purpose (and how unsatisfying is that!). But I am utterly happy to report that in 2 weeks, I will be starting as the Director of a local ministry– Life Choices Pregnancy Center in Clearwater.

It’s crazy how random life has happened to me in the past 3 years. But I know now it wasn’t random at all. All this time, God was trying to show me that until I surrender and obey Him, I’m not going to “succeed.” I never got to a place in the secular world where I felt successful, or at least not as successful as I thought I would be. And any time I came close (NY, DC), God added an ingredient to my life to make me choose success over family. Luckily, He knew my free will would pick family over success… but a few years ago, I don’t think there was much more I would’ve put before being successful. It was realllllllly important to me.

I know that God gifted me with many talents, but those talents won’t get me anywhere until I plant them in His purpose for my life. I’m glad to have identified my purpose as ministry to young women and to now have the opportunity to do that as my job!

This job is a huge leap of faith. Even thinking about taking it went against everything my flesh desires. It is a gigantic cut in pay and benefits and all that jazz. Paying our bills is going to take creativity and some side jobs. The accountant inside me should be shaking in her boots. But God gave me peace to not worry and to take this job on faith. I have confidence that God called me to this position and to this ministry, and am confident He will see me through.

And my favorite verse to top it all off…

That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day. 2 Timothy 1:12

equally yoked

2 Corinthians 6:14. A Bible verse I memorized as a young teenager. It goes like this,

“DO NOT be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

Verses 15 & 16 go on to say,

“What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For WE are the temple of the LIVING God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.”

This short passage of scripture has had such an impact on my life. A very positive impact. As I look around at people I know, I see them about to take steps in directions that terrify me. I fear this message of Paul’s has not quite impacted their decisions as it has mine. Sure, we all have parts of scripture that we each struggle with individually; I’m certainly not immune to that! But this is one of those verses that deals with a pretty permanent decision. This is one that if you don’t take seriously, it’s effects can be long-lasting.

So what does this verse really mean? Well, I’ve heard it preached a few times and each one was about marriage. I’m sure that Paul didn’t mean it solely in the context of marriage. He was encouraging believers to not be tied (yoked) to unbelievers in many situations. Perhaps not as business partners, or BFFs, or any other type of relational bond you can come up with. But I think in marriage, this concept is ESPECIALLY important.

Most people refer to this scripture as “unequally yoked.” In our English translation, it says to not be in bonds with unbelievers. But the translation from Greek doesn’t exactly say that. The Greek word Heterozygeo (don’t ask me to say that) means “to pair together or coordinate what is incongruous, incompatible or irreconcilable.” There are some Christians that would argue this verse forbids interracial marriages. They are wrong. There are some Christians who would argue that this forbids inter-denominational marriages. They, too, are wrong. There are Christians who think this verse just means not to marry non-believers with believers. While that principle is true, 2 Corinthians 6:14 goes a WHOLE lot deeper than that.

 I like the english word incongruous for this little example. Incongruous means:

“Not in harmony or keeping with the surroundings or other aspects of something; not in place.”

The way I’ve always heard “equally yoked” described is that the two people should be in the same place spiritually. This means so much more than just believing in Jesus with a ticket to Heaven. Look at the lifestyles and attitudes that differ between new believers in Christ and mature believers in Christ. Or think about a mature believer in contrast to just your average church-attending, Heaven-going Christian that looks the same as the world. Both of these examples are incongruous!

Dustin and I attended a class for married couples a few years ago. I sat pretty speechless the entire time listening to the struggles of the other couples in the room. I was completely astonished at the types of things spouses would do to the other and the things they would say about the other. The stories broke my heart. But before the class was over, we had heard the testimonies of most of the couples in there. We established that at the moment they got married, there were only 1 or 2 other couples in the room that were both saved. I walked away from that class just in awe of the difference of a marriage based on how closely the spiritual lives were matched.

This is a super serious issue! This isn’t just telling a lie that you can confess to God later and be free. This is marriage. Something you choose to do once, but it’s (hopefully) a lifelong decision! You can’t undo it tomorrow! Marriage is NEVER EVER to be taken lightly or to be rushed into. It’s not something you choose to do because you like the person and they like you back. It’s not a decision to make because you’ve been together for so long and it’s just convenient. It’s definitely not a decision to make because you’ve already had sex so you might as well make it right with marriage (which still won’t make it right). This is EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF FOREVER!

This has been bothering me for a few months as I see people I deeply care about in unequally yoked relationships. There is a reason Paul gave this message. It’s not just because God said so. Think about the result of an unequally yoked marriage. God called me into ministry. If Dustin didn’t share the same heart for Jesus that I do, I wouldn’t be able to accept the call to ministry. Dustin would not be supportive of me giving up my full-time pay. Dustin would be unwilling to invest our family’s money and  time into the work of the Lord. But my husband supports everything that I feel God has called me to.

Couples who are unequally yoked are destined to have struggles over spiritual matters. If one is wanting to do godly things and the other wants to do worldly things, one of those is going to win, and the other lose. (Simple math.) Mature believer, you can hope and pray all you want that the godly things keep winning and your spouse comes around and joins you. But you can’t be sure. Unequally yoked relationships are discouraged because of the negative effects that it can have on the spiritual life of the stronger Christian. Let’s say Jack and Jill get married. Jill just got saved. Jack has been saved since childhood and has a strong, close walk with God. Jill can pull him down in a couple ways. 1) Jack could get so tied up in trying to catch her up that he loses progress in his own sanctification. 2) Jill could not be interested in her own sanctification and could become distant from all things church, resulting in Jack following her to save the marriage.

I know my marriage isn’t perfect. But it’s sweet and wonderful and our love grows every day. I can’t stand to imagine how much different our marriage would be if our hearts weren’t equally passionate about serving God and growing in faith. How different our parenting would be. How worrysome these rough financial times would be.

For my friends whom I love so much, all I want is for you to enter into marriages that are as sweet as mine. That may involve making hard decisions now that will be painful. But I know that has to be better than living in a marriage that leaves you burdened and spiritually beaten.

And lastly…

I had the pleasure of talking with a little 6th grade girl from our church last week. We were talking about life and relationships. She was telling me all about how this big ordeal happened at school involving her and it was all the girls could talk about– even though it was over 2 months ago. I tried to use this time to share with her just how important the decisions we make as young girls are. This world is cruel. The mistakes you make as a pre-teen/teenage girl will stick around forever (TRUST ME!). Parents! Please be extremely overprotective of your little girl’s love life. Be strict on her. Make her hate your guts. But protect her purity! Decisions of impurity will not only haunt her for the rest of her teenage years, they will burden her as she finds the right godly spouse. Equally yoked isn’t only important when you get older! Make sure your children are paired with like-hearted boyfriends or girlfriends (or none at all). Talk to your kids about the purpose of dating (marriage)! Teach them responsibility… and be responsible parents!

seasons of faith

How’s everyone liking this strike of cold weather we’re having? I’m not a fan at all. I hate being cold. And I hate being hot. I’m actually pretty hard to please when it comes to temperature. 74 and sunny is my kind of thing. Any variance from that and I’m uncomfortable.

I got to thinking about the purpose of the seasons. God designed it so the plants bloom in the spring.  Then they get so hot and happy in the summer they wither away. The leaves fall in the fall. And the winter comes with its harsh temperatures and the plants look desperately for the renewal of spring.

I went over this pattern in my head and realized that my spiritual life has endured the same cycle of seasons over the past 18 years. And just as God uses it purposefully for the plants, I see the same results in my life. The falls of my life have been ignited by trials and tribulations that led to lonely winters of less than perfect faith. But God promises renewal! With the renewal of spring comes growth, a shining outward appearance like a blossoming flower. And the spiritual high of being fully used by the Spirit leads you into that hot summer.

I may be alone here, but I don’t like the summer. I can’t stand being hot and sweaty. It’s just icky. At the end of the summer, I’m so looking forward to the fall. I don’t know if that translates over to our spiritual lives, though. I remember well the “summers” of my spiritual life. Those seasons where I’ve been so on fire for God, burning the candle at every end trying to do more for the Kingdom. Those seasons of our lives are certainly needed and shouldn’t be wished away! But just as much as the trees need the natural pruning of the winter, God needs us to be pruned for the next great Spring.

It is my prayer that as we push on in Christ, our falls and winters becomes a lot shorter, our springs a whole lot sweeter, and our summers long and bountiful! I read this in Jeremiah a few months ago and it is a picture I can’t get out of my head.

“But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8

This is where we should be. When the trials of coldness of winter come, we should never fail to bear fruit! We need to be like the tree planted by the water. Always full of the spiritual food we need, and taking every circumstance in stride WITHOUT fear.

What season are you in now? Is it one of discovery? Servitude? Ministry? Maturity? Whatever season you’re in right now, know it’s not the end! God has another one planned for you and you might have to endure a little helpful pruning to get there. The current season of my faith is perfectly described by the song “Facedown.” It’s one of pure awe at the works of God and a humble heart at being just a tiny part in His universal picture. I’m content to be here now, but I’ll also be thankful for what comes next. This season of my faith has me on cloud 9… I can’t wait to see how the next spring feels!